sara choe's ebenezer collection - the world race - october 2008

another stream of consciousness

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

driving up & down I-95 has become old hat, which is good considering the slight daze i was in as i drove from my aunt's house back to northern virginia. uncle k, aunt jane's husband, had made a dvd of old home videos of our family dating back from the early nineties. i've packed quite a few pounds since i was ten years old, but my voice hasn't changed at all, my brother pointed out. it was almost mind-boggling to see my cousins and me as such little people.

by the time my mom, brother and i reached the hospital early this afternoon, she'd already passed away. must've been God who held me together, who constructed a dam preventing tears from bursting forth. just because i didn't really cry doesn't mean i didn't hurt watching my mom and aunt weep over their sister, right?

it could be denial. it could be irrational faith. there was no loud charismatic shouting as i lay hands on my aunt; quietly, i prayed in the secret prayer language only God understands ('cause He gave it to me). my hands shook as i prayed and found myself rocking ever so slightly. finally with as few people in the room, i prayed aloud (but not loudly).

a part of me still wonders what it is exactly that i asked of the Lord, in my spirit, confident before His throne of grace.

here's a confession: it's morbid, but i think about my funeral as often as i wonder about my wedding, and thought about even more these past few days. i may have to start put it in writing, but let me get it out there, please NO pipe-organ playing hymns that will be sung in korean. don't get me wrong, i'm not a pipe-organ hater, but not my first choice in musical accompaniment.

thank you for your prayers; continue to lift up my family. my grandma will be returning to the u.s. from korea tonight. i pray that my family, especially my cousins and now-widower uncle will hear His voice and sense His presence. if you want/can, please join me. i love that in Christ, i find family from all over the country and world.

"son of man, can these bones live?"

"oh sovereign Lord, you (alone) know."

- ezekiel 37:3.

a stream of consciousness post

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

watching figure skating has given me a hankering to get lessons from the nearby ice-rink, i'd get more use out of the skates jenn leung gave me when we were in high school. ever since mcdonald's started their 99 cent filet-o-fish promotion i have been eating too much mcd's - mostly mcnuggets and apple pies.

speaking of fast-food, i'd been feeling rather restless the past couple weeks, but after kaitlin prayed for me (she hears SO clearly from the Lord, yet speaks so tenderly on His behalf) i was reminded that i feel restless because i'm not resting as much in Him, a la st. augustine. so i've been asking for patience. especially with regard to being single. i know He's making it all beautiful in His time, but i've just been wondering how long that is, exactly. God, i trust You, i trust You, i trust You. You love me, You love me, You love me and when we (whoever he is and myself) are ready you'll bring us together.

lots of writing projects on my plate, which is a good thing. hard to juggle with a full-time job when writing could be a full-time job in and of itself. fasting from fb and twitter's been good - both take up lots of time. fb/twitter have been quite constructive but abstaining it for a spell will give me more insight into wielding both social media in better, more effective ways. though i have to confess, the whole google buzz thing feels like twitter lite. the fast, albeit not quite yet to the degree i'd like, has been drawing me closer to God.

found out last night that my aunt, who'd been diagnosed with cancer around thanksgiving, has only a few weeks left to live per her doctor. we'll see about that, my spirit says. mom said to be wise and that if i couldn't make it up to ny this weekend, it's okay - in light of the snow, i suppose. as i was laying in bed, falling asleep, i remembered when Jesus raised lazarus from the dead. i think i remembered mostly the part about Jesus delaying in visiting the brother and his two sisters. i just read the passage in the bible that retells this miracle. Jesus heard about lazarus being sick and waited two days before He headed to bethany, which is close to jerusalem, which is where He knew He Himself would die. faith is funny. sometimes faith makes you fast - like how i ended up in haiti. but maybe faith slows you down and makes you wait, be patient. i wondered if i need to step out in faith and NOT head up to ny this weekend and wait so that Jesus will show up (i mean, He's there, but you know what i mean) and lay "new grounds for believing" (john 11:14-15, the message). but then i remember that my aunt isn't just MY aunt. she's my cousins' mom. my mom's sister. so i go up to bring some Kingdom for them, too.

well. i think my lunch break was over a few minutes ago. if only i could approach my writing assignments like this mind-dump; i could write a novel...

anyway. if you caught the part about my aunt, please pray for her. my family'd appreciate it.

One Week in the DR & Haiti in Three Minutes

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Thanks to the genius of Kim Daniels, a week's worth of video footage from our seven days in the Dominican Republic and Haiti have been distilled into three minutes. There's a lot of writing on my plate yet on the week, but this video should tide you over. For those of you who've asked me what I did and what it was like and are keeping up with my retrospective blog posts, here's the best answer I can give you now.

Already people who are going/have gone after us have much to look forward to, so if you think you hear God telling you to go. . . you're probably right.

part II - on the ground

Sat, 6 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

"Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

- Hebrews 12:12-13 (NIV)

(from campusforchrist.org)

There's a certain gravitas that comes with defying gravity; I felt it settling into my gut as each plane of my trip took off and landed.

I noticed a group of men and women who just looked like a short-term missions team, something I guessed from my by semi-stealth intelligence gathering methods (read: overhearing their conversation as I read while waiting at the gate at Terminal B in Washington Dulles Int'l Airport). It wasn't until the second leg of my flight - San Juan, PR to Santo Domingo, DR - that I actually struck up a conversation with some of them.

Dan and Jeff sat in my row. They're two of their ten-member medical missions team comprised of doctors, nurses and EMT professionals, but they themselves were the sole non-medical background folks from Waynesboro Mennonite Church in (I suppose, Waynesboro) Virginia. We exchanged details of our trip and sat quietly for most of shuttle between the two capitals.

Then I got this hankering to pray for them. And even with a World Race under my belt, it still took some courage to get over myself and ask them if I could pray for them. And just in time, as the plane made its descent, I asked the Lord for His favor and blessing and guidance and protection and boldness to cover them.

I hadn't got off the plane, yet the Lord already had me hit the ground running.

Remember the word that Mike Paschal shared with us G Squad (October 2008) folks back at M&N Squads' (January 2010) training camp? The word was gravel, which Google dictionary describes thusly:

"Gravel consists of very small stones. It is often used to make paths."

It's not a coincidence to me that half the WR Alumni team is from G-Squad. Mother Teresa says, "we do no great things, only small things with great love"; in other words (hers, also, I believe), "it is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters."

Our mission was to pave the way for more to come in. How were we to make that path through the rubble, to the lost and orphaned, the confused and grieving, to the lonely and confused?

One pebble at a time.

Call us the ground crew, if you'd like.

It's a stark contrast to what I saw. True to the vision/image my formidable intercessor friend Jean received when she prayed for me the Tuesday night before my departure, I saw quite a lot of UN signs at the airport as well as at our accommodations in Santo Domingo. A good number of relief workers sported those outdoorsy vests, many emblazoned with "WFP" (World Food Program) on the back.

And there we were, the ten of us - a former Marine, a former investment banker, a single mom and seven former World Racers - with a lick of, if any, disaster relief experience, sitting in a way too comfortable hotel suite with Jack Larson of Mision Emanuel.

Jack is a man who's spread out lots of pebbles throughout Santo Domingo. As far as I know, he's not an educator or healthcare professional or biochemist or entrepreneur by trade, but in his thirty years serving in the Dominican Republic, his ministry has built clinics, schools, a water filtration and bottling plant and a women's co-op.

Raul, a pastor/missionary in Azua, DR with whom the World Race has partnered with last year and that week, said to me, "you know, when you're a missionary, you do a little bit of everything." In that statement, I learned yet again that to God what matters more to Him is how available to and dependent on Him we are in order to obey Him.

It would've been awesome to have a disaster relief experience or a medical background but the lack thereof didn't exclude me from obeying Him. Really all He required of me was a spirit that was willing to say yes to whatever, however unskilled or uncomfortable or inconvenient.

And you know what I realize just now, as obvious at it sounds? That "Yes" springs from a spirit of humility, usually symbolized by kneeling. . . where? [Cue SNL digital short of the same name]. . .

On the ground.

part I - defying gravity

Tue, 2 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By way of the TV show Glee (one of my favorite shows), "Defying Gravity" from the musical Wicked, sung by Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel, has become one of my favorite songs. Listening to it never fails to give me goosebumps, not only because of the vocal prowess the artists display, but because the lyrics seem to line up more closely with my life recently.

A couple of weeks ago, I believe, is when Ashley sent out the email with the dates of the first World Race Alumni trip. A few days prior to that, less than a week since the earthquake first struck, the trip was just an idea yet in my gut I knew I had to do more than just read and watch and give and pray. God was asking who'd go, as in Isaiah 6:8, and in my spirit I replied with a resounding "yes".

I sent a rather emotional email to work requesting time off, which in retrospect read more like begging forgiveness instead of asking permission (N.B. this is how not to approach it, DON'T follow this part of my example!). Later that day, which was late at night, I checked my work email and Kayak.com. Time was of the essence so I went ahead and booked my flight.

Suddenly I found myself in between the realm of possibility to probability. The reality of what I just did caught up - it was all so impulsive, nonsensical and reckless - as I stood with my toes just protruding over the edge. The voices telling me to step back, think twice (to think, really), to turn around and slow down echoed over the canyon of the unknown.

Now, I haven't seen the musical, so I might be taking this out of context [afterword: actually, I just Wiki-ed Wicked and now I really wanna watch it], but I am somewhat familiar with the premise of the story. The few people who made me question myself were like Glinda from Wicked:

". . . why couldn't you stay calm for once, instead of flying off the handle?. . . / So though I can't imagine how, I hope you're happy right now."

Everything happened so fast that I hadn't stopped to check myself: why am I doing this? How can I be sure that I am supposed to go? I've never done disaster relief, who am I to go? It's dangerous and (at that point) I still am not sure where exactly I'll be and what exactly I'd be doing.

I end up leaving Allison a tearful plea for prayer over voicemail and call Ashley, trying but failing to maintain composure. Both of them were so gracious and helped clear the way for the Lord's voice to cut through the echoes of doubt and worry and fear.

And just as I had believed He would, God met my faith with favor - my boss gave the green light and my supporters, particularly the leadership at ODPC, covered me in prayer and encouragement. It came later than I had expected, but He gave me the peace and clarity I needed to get myself on that plane.

Of course God doesn't make sense all the time, especially before the fact. Christie Albaugh put this quote up as her Facebook status:

What is faith, after all, but believing in advance what only makes sense in reverse?

And surely, the whole quitting my job and giving away most my stuff and leaving home and living out of a backpack with fifty people in eleven countries didn't make sense beforehand and was crazy. . . taking unpaid leave for a week to be part of a first response to a natural disaster isn't too far fetched in comparison, no?

Already, God was teaching and leading me through a lot. My World Race experience keeps proving to be a prelude as Elphaba sings:

"Something has changed within me, something is not the same / I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game / Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep / It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap! // It's time to try defying gravity / I think I'll try defying gravity. . ."

And while the Glindas of the world tell me,

"Can't I make you understand? / You're having delusions of grandeur."

I press on, cause. . .

"I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so / Some things I cannot change but til I try, I'll never know / Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost / Well, if that's love it comes at much too high a cost! // I'd sooner buy defying gravity... // So if you care to find me, look to the western sky! / As someone told me lately / Everyone deserves the chance to fly!' / And if I'm flying solo at least I'm flying free / To those who'd ground me take a message back from me // Tell them how I am defying gravity / I'm flying high, defying gravity..."

in the days to come, i'll elaborate more on our week on the island of hispaniola. in the meantime, you can look through my tweets on twitter from january 21-27 (sarachoe). sorry, ms. bureman, that i forgot to list my twitter name on my previous entry!

leaving on a jet plane, coming back on wednesday

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

so. . . i'm headed toward haiti - mostly to the dominican republic.

first things first, we're going world race style, as to absorb as little ground costs as possible. anything we raise above that will go towards practical resources, so please follow these steps:

1. Go to this link: https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=
2. Under "Online Donation Information", go to the drop down menu "Choose Program" and select "Support a World Race Project"
3. Then you'll see a field called "Project" appear. In this field, type "WR HAITI"

and check haiti.adventures.org for more updates.

listen up, m & n squads: WHAT to pack SUGGESTIONS

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I emphasize suggestions because they are just that, not any hard, fast rules to adhere to.

And how you fit all of your gear into your pack is up to you; just know that packing cubes and compression sacks are your friend. And less is more - I am proud to say that my pack has always weighed in well under the limit. And bring some Glad/Ziploc bags, too (the gallon and quart sizes) - the ones they sell overseas aren't quite as strong.

And as long as everything fits - preferably inside and not so much outside - in your pack, again, it doesn't matter how you get yer stuff in there. Your pack is gonna explode anyway as soon as you put your stuff down in a place; it's like gravity - inevitable. Oh, yeah, a big duffel bag that fits over your pack would be preferable to those "Airporters" as the latter aren't quite as durable (though mine still survived).

Here are links to posts I've written about what to pack.

what not to wear - world race edition

what to pack suggestions

And what I referred to when I was in yer shoes:

Christie Albaugh's FAQ

Also, the World Race is evolving so some of what I or Christie have suggested might be moot...

Lastly, in Allison's words, just get yourself on the plane. I'd worry less about what you're packing materially and focus on unpacking and processing the life you're about to leave behind. If you have to choose between packing or sharing conversation & coffee with a friend - pick your friend. People > Tasks.

Not that I'm advocating procrastination, but God's all about the eleventh hour (note that I don't say "last minute").

It's all coming together y'all. I'm so glad to have met you (and I'm not gonna lie, my eyes are watering a little as I type this) and am so stoked for you!

Peace and joy as we celebrate the why and for whom the World Race is all about. . .

introducing. . . myself?

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Sorry for the gaps of time between posts; it doesn't necessarily mean I haven't been blogging. If you happen to read/subscribe to the Updates blog, you'll notice I've been writing there lately. Meet your neighborhood friendly Marketing/Mobilization volunteer!

This is more of a continuation of this post on the Updates blog:

My name is Sara, and started the World Race in October 2008 and finished it at the end of August 2009. I've been in the United States since my return, first to New York, where I grew up, then retransplanting myself to northern Virginia.

I had the wonderful opportunity to serve at training camp in October of this year down in Gainesville, GA (along with several brothers and sisters from my squad!) and met the M and N Squads. I thoroughly enjoyed being on the other side of Ignition and was so blessed to be a part of this leg of their journey.

I've also been blessed to meet several World Race alumnae who live in the greater Washington, DC area and look forward to meeting some of the newer ones. While I still miss my squad and teammates dearly, connecting with the World Race community at large that's slowly coming together here has been a huge consolation.

Michelle McBeath (January 2007 World Race?) and I finally met this month!

So when I'm not working as a paralegal at a law firm (same line of work pre-Race, but a different place), reconnecting with my church & friends, I do my best to help track the stories of Racers in all stages of their journey - before launch, on the field, back home, the next season - and share them with you.

Consider us your liaisons, your bridge, your ambassadors to the World Race. . . world. And as one of those people, I'll let you in on a couple lessons I've learned.

My life before and after the Race is "same same but different." I'm returning to the familiar, but I'm not the same. . .

If you came here via the Updates blog, go here to return to the post.

I've thought of updating my autobiography on this blog, but I feel like a majority of my posts have been just a continuation of it. I apologize also for not blogging elsewhere more regularly. That's something I resolve to improve in before the start of the new year.

Do know that my hope is to continue partnering in ministry with the World Race to any degree I can, which currently is volunteering in marketing/mobilization. Stay subscribed to stay updated on where God's taking me and what He's teaching me; even better, subscribe to the Updates to get a wider perspective.

no, you can't outgive God, oh, you'll just have to wait

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

oops. i mashed up a word my friend received from God and a lyric from a song by the supremes.

anyway, this is a bit overdue. i'm getting closer to finding my rhythm in this still very new season of my life but i'm getting busy in the midst of it and have plenty of thoughts about it and anything else really.

i've been able to go to tuesday night prayer meetings at my church again and last week shared as one of my requests for God's provision for all my world race family who are raising support. so this word is for y'all. . . well, i was convicted by it, too, so this word is for us, is:

you can't outgive God.

and from that sprung the challenge that while you are in a posture of asking and receiving, though your own resources be limited, to keep giving unto the Lord.

like the widow who gave all she had to the temple treasury.

like mary breaking open her alabaster jar of fine perfume.

like the widow who gave what oil and flour she had to feed elijah.

freely we receive, freely we give. silver or gold you may have none, but what you do have, give in Jesus' name. we give not to get but because our Dad is a supremely generous God and the apple don't fall far from the tree.

just when i think, it isn't enough that i'm doing this (again, for some of you) - that i did this - how much more do i surrender, Lord? i hear misty edwards singing,

i am in love with You, there is no cost
i am in love with You, there is no loss

to the God of the universe who nailed Himself to the cross.

so, we can't outgive God, but it doesn't hurt to try.

love awakens

Tue, 3 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

after a couple months of mulling and imagining and hours of furious typing, i gave my first sermon in america yesterday. i now know that i am not cool enough to wear those wireless microphone things.

you can get it on itunes as a podcast here or go straight to my church's website and download it from there. if you choose the latter, make sure you right-click and choose "save link as". there's a brief lag in within the first couple minutes but keep listening, it was just a little technical hiccup.

a huge thanks to amy mcallister & jessie miller for joining me.

and to kim daniels and the awesome alumni featured in her awesome video "from those who have gone before" (which you can hear in the sermon!) - 500 or so people saw your beautiful visages on big projection screens and i may have told half of them that you are crazier in person.

g is for gravel

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

i'm posting this from delta flight 1786 from atlanta to new york city thanks to a free trial of wi-fi from gogo inflight internet. sorry if that sounded like a commercial.

I am part of the seventh World Race squad that launched just over a year ago. AIM likes to assign letters of the alphabet to keep track, hence our squad is the G-Squad.

The God Squad. The Good Squad. The Geek Squad. Squad Glory. Squad Giddy. The Guinea Pig Squad.

How bout I make up a word - Grazy (Grace + Crazy)?

But here's what God told Mike Paschall one night during the M & N Squads' training camp this past week+: G is for gravel. . .

. . . that will become concrete that will be part of the foundation. There's a lot that goes into building something and each component is crucial: the concept, the design, the planning, the materials, and the manpower. Each phase of construction depends on the one that preceded it.

The World Race has grown so rapidly that it's easy to forget that the pioneer squad launched only three years ago. When my squad was "training" over a year ago, the center was unfinished; when I first beheld the site over a week ago, I hardly recognized it.

It's been wonderful to be on this side of training camp. Not only have I been reunited with a chunk of my squad, but I've been blessed through serving over a hundred new World Racers. Bearing witness to and being a part of what God is doing in each of these men and women has been life-giving.

It's been gratifying to read of current Racers working with ministries for whom the G-Squad was their introduction to the World Race, like Casa Shalom (Bucharest, Romania), Casa Jackson (Antigua, Guatemala), and My Father's House (San Lucas, Guatemala). I want to see future Racers run full speed through the places where we simply paved the way.

I want greater things for successive generations of the World Race. I'm so grateful that God entrusted some groundbreaking to me. I'm so glad to have been in Georgia these past two weeks, to cook and clean and pray and worship and listen (I hope I did that more than I spoke), and camp and eat and dance and grieve and galvanize and guide. It's awesome to watch them get it.

Freely I've received, freely I give. Because I know God to be generous, He will grant me this request.

the next step

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

a cliff notes version.

arrived in queens on 9/2.
made three visits to dc/northern va: 9/11-9/14 (megabus - late), 9/24-9/28 (self - ez pass is awesome, the beltway is not), and 10/9-10/10 (eastern - decent).
went up to my dad's place in the finger lakes to see him and hang out with a teammate from my summer with cti (that was four years ago!): 9/17-9/20.
i've been here in the vicinity of gainesville, ga since 10/12. camped out in helen, ga with the likes of angi, erin and jacob from 10/12; we headed to AIM on the 10/15. i'll head back to nyc on 10/25, when the m&n squads head back home after their training camp (which i'll reflect on in a different post).
from 10/26-10/31, i'll be packing my stuff, trying to get somewhat organized and move back to dc.
i speak at my church 11/1 and start work on 11/2.

the uncondensed version is that i was presented with several steps i could take: an apprenticeship w/ aim in marketing/mobilization, moving back to dc/nova, or teaching/studying in korea. no one option was emerging as "the one thing" God wants me to do and that almost paralyzed me. what was made clear to me is that any way i'd go, i'd have a lot to gain and a lot to give up.

that's the way of love, isn't it?

and so i'm heading back - as best i know - to my antioch, open door presbyterian church, for a season. i'm excited to be a tentmaker; to clear the rest of my debt and support my friends who are either already on or soon joining AIM as staff. there are some world race alumnae in the dc area i'm excited to meet and grow with.

i'll continue to blog here and there (sarachoe.wordpress.com).

next post (here) will be on being on the other side of training camp. stay tuned. . .

the antioch initiative

Fri, 9 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

i'll update y'all on what the deal with me is since i've come home. in the meantime, i wanted to share this w/ y'all. let's join in.

across a distant sea, i carry you in me

Wed, 9 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I'm quite familiar with Brooke Fraser's beautiful, almost haunting, song, "Albertine", which is based on her visit to Rwanda. Yesterday, Gary Black had posted the music video of this song on his blog, and unexpectedly my eyes watered.

Granted, I recently had read an article in the New York Times on the ongoing drought east Africa and how hard it's hitting northern Kenya. Images of the Turkana people - an elderly woman so weak and parched she couldn't drink on her own - stirred my own memories of walking through the Lodwar desert.

Now that I have seen I am responsible / Faith without deeds is dead. . .

I am [now at home] / Across a distant sea / But I carry you in me

Where Brooke sings, "Rwanda", I would list:

The Philippines,

China,

Kenya,

Uganda,

Tanzania,

India,

Ukraine,

Romania,

Guatemala,

Nicaragua. . .

And other nations I have yet to meet someday.

it's the end of the world (race) as we know it

Tue, 1 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

here we are, at the airport in san jose, costa rica, waiting to board our flight to the ft. lauderdale. our term is up, just as suddenly as it began, the eleven months are completed. we've become pros at waiting in line to check-in, whizzing through security; our packs either much heavier or lighter than they were when we first left the u.s./canada.

it doesn't feel real, that our paths are now diverging.

could it be because i know deep down inside, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"?

i'll blog again - maybe the reality will sink in and i will be the same puddle of tears once i arrive home in new york and realize everyone isn't around anymore, the same kind that i shed when i first left.

what not to wear - world race edition

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

In less than two weeks (12 days, actually), I'll get on a plane back to the U.S. and my pack will be lighter than it was when I left the U.S. For you future Racers, I suggest that you read Christie Albaugh's packing list and maybe consider my suggestions:

Clothing

Ladies, you only need one, at most two, of every article of clothing (with the exception of socks and underwear), including:

A pair of tights/long johns
A long sleeve t-shirt
A sweatshirt

Layering is key if you find yourself in cold weather - which you really can't predict on the World Race, as we were in the coldest part of India in March and it wasn't completely spring yet in Ukraine in April. Had I held onto my stuff from China in November, I wouldn't have had to buy more stuff, hence revise packing strategies.

Speaking of which, I'd also suggest budgeting a modest amount for clothing purchases, because you will end up buying clothes in most places you visit. The fewer clothes you bring initially, the less you'll agonize about:

What you'll ditch
What you'll pay at least $20 to ship home

Feel free to bring up to two weeks' worth of underwear because the only reason a Racer does laundry is because she's run out of clean articles thereof. I'd probably include the special camping underwear that dries quick and can be worn for months at a time without being washed or whatever.
With regard to swimwear, if I could do it over, I'd choose a tankini (within World Race guidelines, of course). In the event that you have only an outdoor faucet with which to bathe, a one-piece makes it hard to get thoroughly clean.
With regard to rain gear, in a heavy downpour, you'll still get wet - below your torso anyway - wearing a Helly Hansen rain jacket. And, the only appearance that rain pants have made is on the free table; that said, just bring a collapsible/mini-umbrella in addition to the rain jacket and you'll be set. Rain jackets double as windbreakers.
I was fine without special hiking shoes. I would suggest footwear made with waterproof material, such as GoreTex; I came very close to buying a pair of galoshes/rain boots. But all in all, regular sneakers are fine.
I wish I had brought my too-big-for-me-but-very-comfortable sweatpants with me.
You'll have to find the balance between bringing clothes you like to wear back home, clothes you could afford to do without along the Race.

Sleeping Gear and Tent

Tent: I can't offer much advice on this save for two words: two person. The neat thing about mine was that it came in a bag with handles, almost like a mini-duffle bag. And get some kind of footprint - a tarp, a large, rectangular piece of plastic - for sure. Practice setting it up at least once, if like me you haven't really gone camping before the Race. And that's all I know about that.
Sleeping bag: get one that packs really small and fits you. The one I brought with me I bought years ago, and I didn't realize it was made for someone taller than me.
Sleeping pad: splurge on this item. I should've gotten a thicker and wider one.
Sleeping bag liner: it was good, but I think a regular flat sheet would've been just fine.
Pillow: I elected the smallest travel pillow. I should've gotten a bigger one or even just brought one from home. Make sure the pillowcase is dark so that when it's dirty it's not too obvious.

Other Stuff

Bring a knife. Not a small Swiss Army knife. Something with a name like "Fusion".
Bring a couple of things of deodorant. The rest of the world doesn't carry the same selection as the U.S./Canada.

If you use it a lot, then maybe bring three.
If you're like me and quit deodorant in the desert, then one should be enough.

If you have one and use it a lot, I'd go ahead and bring a laptop. If you have an extra battery, bring that too.
If you're gonna be the finance person, you better bring your laptop.
Bring an external hard drive.
Bring a flash drive. Be careful with it; don't accidently ship it home.
If you have an iPod and use it at all, bring it. If you have a charger for it, bring it.
Earplugs. Earplugs. Earplugs. Especially if you are a light sleeper.
Eye-mask is a must if you are a light sleeper.
Bring an alarm clock that has an adjustable volume. Mine only had one setting: loud.
Bring a headlamp that has adjustable levels of light intensity. Mine only had one setting: super bright. The good thing about that though was when it was dull, I knew the batteries needed changing.
Bring extra batteries.
Bring adapters.
Bring books. You may also buy books along the way - Christian book selection, however, is limited - so budget a little for that too.
Bring movies.
Bring a bit of stationery, if you're into writing letters and notes.
Sharpies are essential in distinguishing your stuff from others - especially if everyone gets the same quick-dry towel or whatnot.
Your day pack should be generously sized but able to fit into an airplane's overhead compartment so that if you need to lighten your big pack, you can stuff some stuff in the day pack. What I (now would) pack in it to be prepared in case baggage gets lost:

Electronics
A packing cube with all my underwear and socks, swimsuit, and a change of clothes.
Travel size toiletries.
Towel/sarong.

The towel debate: if you go quick-dry, go for the thicker kind as a bath towel. Those suckers don't stay too fresh though. . .
Bring a purse of some kind of sturdy material. It can be a big one, too.
Bring a reusable shopping bag, usually made of some synthetic material that comes in its own stuff sack. They charge for plastic bags in supermarkets or they don't offer them at all in other parts of the world.

It's quite a list. But now maybe I'll be able to start writing my reflections on how quickly this almost-year has passed. A year ago, I was filled with such excitement and maybe a tinge of anxiety (that would be the noun from which anxious comes from, correct?) of the great unknown that lay ahead. Now, we're each of us filled with the same kind of excitement, but minus the anxiety, of the great unknown that awaits us back home. . .

testify to love

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This past week, the youth at La Quinta Esperanza have been sharing their testimonies with us. Cindy and I took turns interpreting. Or rather, after four people shared, I thought to give Cindy a break and myself some practice. It was much easier simply to listen than it was to listen and then interpret for our teammates. After awhile, listening in and of itself got more difficult, which slowed down interpretation.

"When I was little, my mom left us." "My dad left me when he found out my mom was pregnant."

"We were abused. She blamed her problems on us." "I missed school because I had to work."

"I felt lonely. People would say that I was useless."

"There was a lot of hatred in my heart - towards my parents, towards classmates who would say things."

Almost all of them prefaced "I don't like to talk about my past; it's like reopening the wounds." "I'd rather focus on the present," they'd say. You could sense that they had to muster up the courage to face the past, to tell their stories without letting the memories haunt them.

As I listened, I glanced around the circle of us. Eyes filled with tears and hands would wipe them away. Bodies leaned in and heads nodded in affirmation.

Bitterness. Sadness. Rejection. Abandonment. Confusion. Hatred. These words echoed through their testimonies.

Yet the climax of all their histories is their first true encounter with Christ, which happened here.

"When Jesus entered my heart, He changed my life."

What follows is the transformation, which though not yet complete, is amazing.

"God is healing my wounds." "He's cleaning my scars."

"I learned to forgive my parents." "From God through Glenn, Lynne, Juanita, Eriberto and Fabricio I received the love I'd been missing."*

They've been growing since, walking in the truth that set them free - that they are not rejected nor abandoned nor alone. That God has put in them worth and a purpose. That they are treasured and loved unconditionally, beyond measure.

These young men and women have dreams to serve the Lord as doctors, engineers, teachers, preachers, missionaries. Most of them love working with children and they do it well. They are learning to be faithful with what God entrusts them and already they are excellent stewards, grateful and humble at that.

I was already so impressed with their drive and passion but now I'm all the more amazed at our God and His work of redemption.

What about you? Whether your testimony be dramatic or not, if You've encountered the living God, you haven't been the same since. How have you been transformed? What are you being transformed for?

* Glenn and Lynne Schweitzer are our contacts; they are tent-makers in Jinotepe, running Hotel Casa Mateo to support their ministry in Diriamba's barrios. Juanita and Eriberto serve as the administrators and directors of La Quinta Esperanza, and have become spiritual parents to the youth here. Fabricio is the pastor of the church here, charged with the youth's discipleship and spiritual formation.

now seven

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

i wrote this about five days ago but didn't get to post it. p.s. 20 days left, aaaaahhhhhhh!

we're currently in nicaragua and it only took 30+ hours, 3 border crossings, an overnight stopover, et al.; we are serving the community of la quinta esperanza, which is in diriamba (outside of jinotepe). if you ever find yourself in jinotepe, stay at hotel casa mateo; our contacts are the owners of this fine lodging establishment. as tentmakers, this hotel's revenue goes toward their outreach to the community.

i'll have a chance to update you on that i hope, but first, to close out our time in guate, i just wanted to tell you about the family lunchbox got to be with in guate. as you know, we lived in tabacal, about an hour outside of antigua, a Mayan village. we "did life", as we like to say, with a martin, juana, recent believers, and their four daughters ingrid, brenda leticia, sabina elisabet lucrecia, and haidy (heidi? heidy? we never did ask them to spell their names) marisola.

ingrid and leti are typical elder children - responsible, helpful, keeping their younger sisters in line. luki and mari were the spunkier ones, but mari was so much so we called her "cheeky". eventually the nickname stuck well enough that even her sisters and mom began addressing her as such.

leti in particular struck me as brave and fearless. nimbly would she hop through the fields when we picked beans and quick to find the big crabs in the nearby creeks. ever thoughtful, she'd pick fruit for us, whose taste we just didn't understand and along with ingrid, would lead the charge in cutting up cucumbers (seasoned with lime and salt, yum!) for us to eat.

they're all like that, though. even the playful little punk mari would plunk down and shell beans with us. we didn't offer much. we gave them small gifts that meant a lot to them - ponytail holders, nail polish, bracelets and the like. but they often outshowered us, mostly with food (corn on the cob, tortillas, rice pudding?).

we are very glad we stayed long enough to meet the seventh member of this family, maynor (mainor?) martin, the girls' new little brother. when we first met juana, we wondered if she was expecting but she said she was not with child. oops, we thought, our bad.

well, our last day in tabacal, martin takes us bean-picking instead of juana. she's not feeling well, they say. so off we go, making the same trek juana took us. we come back and take the beans back to the church we've called our home to shell them.

leti comes along and joins the party. christi asks her how juana's doing and if they know what it is that's making her ill. in spanish, leti tells us, we don't know but she was pregnant and the baby was born this morning.

despite having studied spanish for nearly ten years, i couldn't quite understand what she said. did juana really go about her daily life this month expecting but without expecting?!

when we had lunch at the family's recently completed concrete house, it was indeed true; there he was, the second man of the house.

the springfield team was able to meet the family and bring a playpen/crib and clothes for the baby. juana can now rest a bit easier. martin thanked us for all that we did; he and his family can't repay what we've done (and we wouldn't want them to!) but God will reward us, he told us. we are grateful that we got to be a part of the beginning of a new chapter in this family's life, it was such a privilege to us. please keep these seven precious people in your prayers.

as i think through the posts i've written here, i realize i didn't deal with topics and or draw up laundry lists of what i did as much as i just introduced you to people i've met. i see that God has answered my prayer, my hope for this year - it's been about relating with people. loving them. this month is a battle to stay in and keep loving, especially the team that surrounds me. keep praying love into and over me.

sometimes a stove is not just a stove

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As I type this, Dan and Brenda are playing Hide and Seek with the Fernandez kids. Tomorrow we begin our treacherous twenty plus bus ride to Nicaragua. We'll be crossing through Honduras and El Salvador. Our final debrief will be in Costa Rica. By the end of the Race and with my previous missions experiences, I will have traversed through much of Central America. Our own version of the Motorcycle Diaries, hooray!

We've been in San Lucas, Guatemala these past few days with the Carlos and Heidi Fernandez. They act as facilitators of short-term missions teams, sending them out to places like Tabacal (a Mayan village of 200 or so people). They've led various projects - construction, medical, dental, education, sports and recreation - with scores of teams. Carlos dreams of being able to empower communities like Tabacal with microfinance, and would like to someday build an international missions training center.

Carlos has great vision for this country, but mostly he's got a big heart.

Among the potpourri of things we did while in Tabacal was building stoves. Helps International has been distributing these stoves (recipient families need only to supply eleven cinderblocks and some sand/ash) and educating villages on how to assemble and maintain them. These stoves, designed by a Englishman named Onil (I think?), are very easy to assemble and are a far better alternative to the open fires commonly used for cooking.

Women all over rural Central America spend most their days cooking over open fires. I hardly was able to face the fire to slap on tortillas for a few minutes; the smoke irritated my eyes to the point of tears. Imagine the effects of facing the fire daily - respiratory problems and eye issues.

These open fires also are a hazard as families sometimes keep them going and their homes, made of wood, catch on fire accidentally. Open fires aren't as energy efficient which means firewood needs to be cut constantly, which in the grand scheme of things - namely, the environment - leads to drying up of rivers and such.

Something as simple as a stove makes an impact. Amazing. Neat-o!

So, one day, after Carlos introduced a team from Springfield, IL to the pastor, Manuel, of the church in Tabacal, he invited the pastor to say a few words. In Spanish, Manuel thanks them (and us) for coming to Tabacal to help the community; he says that these stoves are going to save lives. At that point, Carlos stops.

"Excuse me," he says, choked up. Then, through tears, he continues to share with the rest of the non-Spanish speaking audience (excluding Christi and myself) Manuel's gratitude.

What do you see in his heart? I see humility. And it's amazing how God exalts the humble, no?

Please keep this beautiful, fun, loving family in your prayers.

the eleventh hour at the potter's house - part II

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The second part of my ode to the wonderful people we were with in Timisoara continues. . .

So, we are indebted to the missionaries of Greater Europe Mission who connected us with the Potter's House. Lots of emails were exchanged between us and GEM staff, both in Europe and stateside, and finally, through Dwight Poggemiller, we found ourselves in "Little Vienna". The whole family - Dwight, Melissa and their boisterous boys - have been such gracious hosts. We were glad to be aunties and uncles for the month. How Melissa keeps calm with such energetic kids boggles my mind. She is also quite the chef! I'm tempted to refer to Dwight as a gentle giant cause his steady and kind demeanor draws respect more than his stature does.

We got a acquainted with an avid car-collector who lives down the street. He had fled Romania as a teenager, when it was still very Communist, then returned as an adult. We told him a bit about ourselves and what we were doing in Romania, and he said, "There's an American missionary family who live down the street." He really likes and respects this family. Just their very presence where they live is a testimony to their neighbors! Keep this family in prayer, as he oversees ministry for GEM over a chunk of Eastern Europe, and as they await the arrival of a new child!

Dwight connected us with the rest of the GEM Romania folks, essentially adopting us as part of their team. Dawn Elenbaas has blessed us tremendously. She coordinated our ministry with the special needs kids, shuttled us across town - and notably, all over Romania for a whirlwind weekend of sightseeing - and simply cared for us. Dawn is such a servant, marked by the "quiet and gentle spirit" that Peter lauds yet you can sense the strength and humility underlying all that.

All in all, I've really enjoyed partnering with fellow laborers in this field - there are other GEM people as well as workers with International Teams - and I hope God will continue to bring a plentiful harvest there. As I type this, I just finished chatting with Jill (not to be confused with Dan's cousin/my fellow squadmate) over Facebook and I'm grateful that even in as short a time as a month, we've been able to impacted and be impacted by brothers and sisters all over the world.

we got to watch lavinia (center, holding flowers) get baptized. such a privilege to join families all over the world!

sometimes expectations are met & what-to-pack suggestions?

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

buenos dias! estamos en la antigua guatemala, pero solo para una noche de este fin de semana. we've been in tabacal since last sunday. it is more or less what we imagined the physical conditions of the world race would be; so after six months of living in conditions that exceeded my expectations exponentially, the switch was a little tricky, but never fear, we've become quite learned in the art of transition.

it's probably less hot here than it was when i was in lodwar, but it's more humid out here; i sweat like my pores are the size of lunar craters. despite spraying on insect repellent multiple times (even the sweat resistant kind), i've become a reliable source of food for too many flying insects that are mostly the size of a punctuation mark. while helping pick beans with the family we've been serving, i learned the hard way how fire ants earned their name. speaking of which, after hiking up for an hour (crossing two creeks) and weaving through a corn field on a incline to pick beans (the bean plants wind around the stalks), then hiking back to the house to shuck the beans, i will never hate on beans ever again.

i finally get to make good use of my tent, which we set up and tear down inside a church. the tent is the once space where i am free of flying biting insects. i think if i could rewind and do something differently, i'd have bought a wider sleeping pad. and maybe i might sneak a two piece bathing suit so that i can wash my midsection; you see, our showers are with a faucet and an audience of wide-eyed young children who whisper to each other, "est baando". it's harder to get at your belly when you wear the world race appropriate one-piece i learned. thank God for baby wipes.

and i've learned that your tent's footprint serves a second purpose: as the "door" to a latrine. the one where we're staying has one side uncovered, which i guess is just how they roll. but not me. it's hard to take care of business thoroughly if it's not done discreetly, you know what i mean? so if you're camping out in a church that has a concrete floor (lucky!), one of y'all can offer your footprint as the fourth wall of an open-faced outhouse.

also, i'm not a chaco person (and haven't converted), but they are better than flip-flops when walking up/down dirt hills after a rain. my teammates had hiking/tennis shoes made of gore-tex which kept their feet dry, even when being drenched by a hose while scrubbing rust off of metal beams. i wish i had those. what i don't miss is a nalgene bottle. the one month i did use one was in lodwar, kenya and lucky for me, my then teammate neil had a spare one.

i'll make this a two-part post (i'll finish my romania dual-post when i have my laptop on hand), so stay tuned.

met expectations

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

so, i wrote at length in the previous post about the physical conditions, save for the diet which i'll save for the end to lighten the tone. i suppose having been to mexico, peru, and honduras before the race had pre-conditioned me to the poverty and living conditions i anticipated facing in central america. and if even if i didn't have that set of experiences in my background, the last nine months of the race have been a meaty precursor in and of itself.

it happens all the time: we enter a place and everyone notices that we're different. we're from "the west" which is synonymous with "wealth". even though we came to immerse ourselves in communities and lifestyles all over the world, boundaries still had to be established. in the philippines, the border was the gate to YMC where we ate and slept. in china, those boundaries would stretch right to the front of our hotel room door. in kenya it was kids with hand stretched out who greeted us with a "how-are-you?-i-am-fine-give-me-10-shillings". in uganda, friends i made asked me to find sponsors or give them my ipod.

i guess one of the lowlights of the race is that you find yourself between a rock and a hard place more often than you'd like. you're there to bring kingdom and with such force! you are filled with the Holy Spirit and you are an extension of Jesus. you pray and God answers. it's awesome.

but you're out here, simply, having recklessly abandoned everything. while you're not literally empty-handed, there's very little you do have for the year. although you want to give the scores of children and families you meet what they ask for, you can't always, and sometimes you shouldn't. getting this glimpse of the Father's heart is hard; you understand a little better that what they want isn't what's best for them - and even then, i wonder, how do i know that? it seems almost patronizing for a well-to-do north american to tell someone "no".

then you go back to your team to eat pb&j sandwiches and instant noodles and drink bottled water and later on climb inside your tent to sleep and tune the world out for a few hours. "i didn't come out on the world race to say no to the poor; i wanted to give a resounding yes!" i think. God said whatever i do or don't do to the least of these, i do unto them. so i wonder, "what am i doing or not doing?" or maybe you do say yes. but then they come to you again, for something that seems less than necessary, and you get the sense that your first yes was interpreted as an unlimited access pass to an amusement park. all of a sudden you feel like hindsight was 20/20 and your yes looks more like the key that unlocked pandora's box.

yup, it's month 10 of the race. you think you've figured it out by then, but you havent. but that's something you can actually count on on the race, ta-da! Jesus, let us do what You did - feed them spiritually and physically; make us richer in Spirit and multiply what little bread and fish we have.

speaking of fish, there's a tilapia farm out here. we bought some for our dinner last night with the family of six we've been serving. as gross as it was to scale and gut them, they were deliciously worth the work. we also bought two live chickens; i got to witness the whole production process - alive, clucking and still plumed to being in pieces in a pot of soup. what was unexpected was that i didn't vomit as the mother asked me to grab chicken feet and pour water as she dismembered and gutted our poultry.

you know what else i didn't expect? that twelve of us - team lunchbox minus kyla and a family of six - would leave leftovers from a dinner of ten fish and (two whole) chicken noodle soup and tortilla. perhaps i overlooked the miracle of multiplication - and seating said twelve around a small square plastic table - that was right in front of my face.

breakfast in bed

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

the past three nights, eleven of us took on the night shift at casa jackson, a hospital for malnourished children run by la asociacion nuestros ahijados, in la antigua, guatemala. i went the night before last and helped look after three children: a nine year old girl with muscular dystrophy, a three year old boy, and an infant. each of them look much younger and feel much lighter than their respective cohorts. the patients are fed at two or three-hour intervals throughout the day.

it took lots of funny faces and noises to coax the darling nine year old to eat her food, and honestly, i don't blame her - her diet was mostly highly fortified milk and green goop that smelled like vegetables. you'd think it'd be great to be fed in bed, each morsel spooned into your mouth for you. but it's not, especially if you were sleeping; alas, time is of the essence to bring these children up to par.

i didn't mind as it became an exercise of patience and a small glimpse of how my heavenly Father must feel when He wants to nourish us when we feel less then willing. i loved watching her smile and laugh, as if i were the most hilarious person in the world. at one point, she startled me, perhaps accidentally, which made me and her laugh.

then there was the precious little boy who'd just sit in his crib. he was quite lethargic, but had some energy to play with a toy horse and dinosaur whose tail twirls when you pull the string in its mouth. the defining "awww" moment was when i caught him falling asleep as he was sitting up.

this little guy was very easy to feed and diaper change; he never cried and was so compliant. he'd fall asleep readily and slurp down his milk. when i'd reach down to pick him up and hold him, he was even more ready and willing, and that gave me such pleasure. i wonder if that's how our Father feels when we welcome His embrace that way.

the other baby was one of those we'd consider "the babiest baby in the world". big eyes that would just gaze at you. this little princess at first wanted her distance, but later on, after i fed her on my lap - she was somewhere in between the nine year old girl and three year old boy in terms of difficulty - she let me hold her.

then after awhile, she didn't want to let go. eeek. her itty bitty tiny hands clutched my scrubs as she squealed, "meh mehhhhh meh mehhhh", to which i found myself responding, "i'm nacho mama, i got to hold the other baby and feed the girl, too". when i finally put her back, she sat and watched me as i fed the nine-year old, crying out once in a while.

of course, every time i held them, or simply touched them, i'd pray and speak His love over them. during the night one of the doctors made his rounds. i had the chance to tell him about what brought us to guatemala and answer a question or two. he called what we do, "amazing." it's funny how easily i've forgotten that.

see you at home, saul.

Thu, 9 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

before i finish up on my post on the wonderful people we've met in timisoara - and i am fully aware there are a lot of overdue "part II" posts - i wanted to update y'all on a friend i met back in kampala, uganda.

several months ago, i introduced you to saul here. today, i got a brief email from one of our many friends from bugolobi church of the resurrection. kenneth was one of the youth, a university student, i got to knock on doors with throughout the flats. he, alex, and i met with, encouraged and prayed for saul. i know at least a couple of you prayed with us, for which i'm so thankful.

kenneth tells me a lot of good and bad has been going on back in bugolobi, including saul's passing away.

in short, that sucks.

then a bunch of other things come to mind. aside from being glad that he's not suffering anymore but instead is at our father's side, basking in heavenly freedom, i feel let down and that i let him and his family down. i wonder if he'd still be around if i hadn't let him drop off my radar. did i not want his healing badly enough? was my faith weak?

and i've already written about the cycle of arriving and leaving here, how it's hard but good, but dealing with stuff like this is just plain hard. yes, God stretches my heart to make room for so many of His people, but i don't get to go much deeper with each name, face and heart. i want to share in the sorrow of the congregation, especially his daughter nelly.

compassion, to me, is sharing the hurting with other people so that you get closer to them and hopefully so they hurt a little less. and right now, it seems kinda hard to do that without actually being there. and that adds to the sucks of it.

in the end, though, it isn't about me, though, is it? right now, i bet saul is more than just relieved from the itchiness, the discomfort, pain, isolation. . . he's free to just be with his Daddy in heaven. so, God, help me be happy for him, too.

You promised those who grieve are blessed because they'll be comforted; please keep your promise to his family.

the 11th hour at the potter's house - part I

Mon, 6 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

So, it only took 30+ hours of travel from Europe through the U.S. for us to arrive in La Antigua, Guatemala. It's breathtaking, and Ian describes it very well here.

Despite having unfettered internet access last month, I haven't blogged as much. I confess I used it mostly to start planning for my return - dropping resumes, emails, and Skype calls - as well as just connecting more frequently with friends from home. Already, I get to see some fruit from past months of ministry; my friend Rob is going to Kampala, Uganda and I've been able to connect him with some friends there! Rob's missions organization is also sending a team to India, and there's a possibility for them to work with our ministry partners there.

So while there's been little blogging, I've used the internet for other productive ways (so I'd like to believe). But before I begin writing about our time in Guate thus far, I have to tell you about the people from the Potter's House, with whom I've grown in love and admiration. Oh, and I can't forget about the people who connected us with the Potter's House - the missionaries of Greater Europe Mission (GEM).

Oana is a passionate woman of God who has a huge heart for the children of her city. She is a practicing pediatrician and her clinic is attached to the Potter's House. The Potter's House kids are blessed to receive holistic care - body, mind, and spirit. She runs medical outreaches every few months. She and her husband, Nelu, a teacher, serve the Lord however they can with such zeal and love.

As the head honcho of the Potter's House, the kids listen when she lays down the law, yet she can easily join them when they play games or praise the Lord in song and dance. Please pray with her as she wants to see the children of the Potter's House grow in God's love and wisdom and become a generation of men and women who are passionate for His glory. Pray for her health and strength and for rest as she juggles so much at once.

There's Denisa, the psychologist on staff at Potter's House. Because Dr. Oana spends most of her day in consultations with patients, Denisa is the one who runs the show. The children love her and she loves them. I am amazed at the way she can be so firm (you know you better shape up when she starts counting to five) and so kind. The older girls, the teens, all count her as their best friend. She loves the Lord so much and you can hear how sweet her love is in her voice when she praises Him.

We've met fellow itinerant missionaries here, too. We met Jill, from Northern Ireland, whose faith and testimony encourage me so much. One of my new favorite phrases is now, "o happy day!" thanks to her, though I can't say it in the cool accent she says it with. She's been working at the Potter's House for about a year, and just recently returned home but will come back to Romania, so long as her father's health allows - please pray that God will heal him!

Erin and Jalene are two young crazy Canadians who spent three months in Timisoara working with refugees and the kids of the Potter's House. I'm grateful that they bothered to hang out with us old farts. :)

We love all the kids at the Potter's House, but I feel it necessary to highlight a few that made deeper impressions on my heart. There are nine Sandu brothers and sisters, most of whom have passed through or are in the Potter's House now. The ones I've spent the most time with are Nati, Marius and Rebeca; Alexandra and Denis have also been regulars at the Potter's House too. They're all such a good-looking bunch of kiddos, bright and sweet and silly and fun to be around.

Continued in next post.

travel day list

Wed, 1 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

airlines we've flown thus far:

- cathay pacific

- philippine airlines

- kenya airways

- qatar airways

- aerosvit

- austrian airways

- lufthansa

- continental

- spirit airlines

the legs of our trip since yesterday:

- budapest-frankfurt

- frankfurt-boston (15 hr layover in beantown)

- boston-myrtle beach

- myrtle beach-ft. lauderdale (flight currently delayed by two hours)

- ft. lauderdale to guatemala city

*a few of us are on a different airline, boston-houston-guatemala

stand by with me

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

i bet i broke some grammar rules by having two prepositions next to each other in a sentence, but oh well.

i'm asking for prayer on behalf of several friends from home starting tomorrow 6/20 through 7/5. for the third time (as far as i know), i've got a few friends going northeast asia. if you thought the closed country that we've been was closed enough, then this place my friends are going into is hermetically sealed. but the peoples of these places are hungry.

my friends will be crossing the border in shifts; please pray for protection and authority over them as they claim these lands back for Christ. they'll bringing as much medicine and other needed supplies as they can.

while you cover team lunchbox as we finish ministry strong, leave romania and spend a few days in budapest, hungary and then shift continents for the last time and debrief a bit in central america, cover my friends, too, please.

thanks!

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"what's next?"

Tue, 9 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

many of us on the g-squad have been asking ourselves this question; yesterday, i talked with jeff goins over skype the other day, trying to find some of the answer. that was in the afternoon. earlier in the morning, i read through and thought of the day's devotional from my utmost for His highest, the title of which i borrowed for this blog post.

this is the one instance i prefer the earlier edition, i feel more "oomph" in the words. but for now, here's the edition available online (look in the links section, on the left side of the page).

If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them
- John 13:17

Be determined to know more than others. If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea. Put everything in your life afloat upon God, going out to sea on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and your eyes will be opened. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the calm waters just inside the harbor, full of joy, but always tied to the dock. You have to get out past the harbor into the great depths of God, and begin to know things for yourself - begin to have spiritual discernment.

When you know that you should do something and you do it, immediately you know more. Examine where you have become sluggish, where you began losing interest spiritually, and you will find that it goes back to a point where you did not do something you knew you should do. You did not do it because there seemed to be no immediate call to do it. But now you have no insight or discernment, and at a time of crisis you are spiritually distracted instead of spiritually self-controlled. It is a dangerous thing to refuse to continue learning and knowing more.

The counterfeit of obedience is a state of mind in which you create your own opportunities to sacrifice yourself, and your zeal and enthusiasm are mistaken for discernment. It is easier to sacrifice yourself than to fulfill your spiritual destiny, which is stated in Romans 12:1-2. It is much better to fulfill the purpose of God in your life by discerning His will than it is to perform great acts of self-sacrifice. "Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice . . ." (1 Samuel 15:22). Beware of paying attention or going back to what you once were, when God wants you to be something that you have never been. "If anyone wills to do His will, he shall know . . ." (John 7:17).

these words prodded at me last year and they're poking even harder this time. . .

a series of heart transplants

Wed, 3 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Sometimes telling people about the World Race out here on the field is a blend of ministry and marketing and the line between both is severely blurred. Tonight, we met with the teens of the Potter's House for an ice-breaker, praise, and sharing our experience thus far. Dan told them how he ended up on the Race, and I showed my halfway point video after telling them what it is we do on the Race. We invited them to ask questions, and I hope our answers were sufficient encouragement and challenge for them. Answering their questions might've been more beneficial to me than to them.

One of the more thoughtful questions posed to us on the Race about the Race has been, "What was the most difficult thing you experienced?" Dan answered, "Eating a bone." For Brandon, it's been encountering suffering and poverty over and over again. I thought back to when I realized how hard it is to love sacrificially in small ways. Christi shared about the physical ailments that plagued her occasionally.

Then Dan offered a "real answer". While he agreed that it's been challenging for him to live in community like this, he said that it's been difficult to connect with people - our ministry partners, our ministry "targets" - and then have to leave them. More or less, and certainly not in these exact words, Dan said that he wants to pour out his heart and be able to have more than enough to pour out, which is difficult to do on a monthly basis.

As I was brushing my teeth, I was thinking over Dan's more poignant response. I remembered that each month of the Race so far, to some extent (ranging from "only out of obedience" to "pleasepleasePLEASE, God, bring me back here"), I was able to imagine returning for a longer period of time to all the places we've been.

The transitions between hello-goodbye-hello have become smoother, only by His grace. More miraculous than Jesus turning water into wine is how I pour out my heart over and over again and not run out; just when I thought I had spent the last drop of love, I find that there's still more than enough. For example, Marius of Bucharest stole my heart last month and this month, Marius of Timisoara (and well, the Potter's House in general) has captured another chunk of it; yet there's still plenty of it left.

It's not raising people from the dead (don't worry, we've got the rest of this month and two more coming up) or praying off cancer or seeing legs grow or cataracts falling, but how my heart can regenerate time after time is nothing short of supernatural.

And maybe the heart that's been reborn in Christ is like a starfish:

Beyond their distinctive shape, [starfish] are famous for their ability to regenerate limbs, and in some cases, entire bodies. They accomplish this by housing most or all of their vital organs in their arms. Some require the central body to be intact to regenerate, but a few species can grow an entirely new sea star just from a portion of a severed limb.

- from National Geographic (retrieved June 4, 2009 via Google: "starfish facts")

So here I am, with only two cycles remaining of planting, uprooting and transplanting my heart; making like shampoo - "lather, rinse, repeat."

love your neighbor

Sat, 30 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

"who's my neighbor?" you ask.

i tell you, "brenda wilchowy."

she needs help, y'all; your help. the remaining funds to be raised is past due.

before you watch this video, which she made earlier in the race, please read this: Stuff Christians Like #256

First 3 Months SILLY from Brenda Wilchowy on Vimeo.

see? she's indispensible. i've had the privilege of being with her since our dunamis days. please keep her on the field; there's just so much more God has yet to do in her, for her, and through her.

sara choe's ebenezer collection - the world race - october 2008

another stream of consciousness

a stream of consciousness post

One Week in the DR & Haiti in Three Minutes

part II - on the ground

part I - defying gravity

leaving on a jet plane, coming back on wednesday

listen up, m & n squads: WHAT to pack SUGGESTIONS

introducing. . . myself?

no, you can't outgive God, oh, you'll just have to wait

love awakens

g is for gravel

the next step

the antioch initiative

across a distant sea, i carry you in me

it's the end of the world (race) as we know it

what not to wear - world race edition

testify to love

now seven

sometimes a stove is not just a stove

the eleventh hour at the potter's house - part II

sometimes expectations *are* met & what-to-pack suggestions?

met expectations

breakfast in bed

see you at home, saul.

the 11th hour at the potter's house - part I

travel day list

stand by with me

"what's next?"

a series of heart transplants

love your neighbor

sometimes expectations are met & what-to-pack suggestions?